NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA. The University of Newcastle’s Coal River Working Party announced today that they would begin construction of a ‘real’ time machine. Quoting the late U.S. President J. F. Kennedy today, a representative said that they believed that:
“The University of Newcastle’s Coal River Working Party should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of transporting a Novocastrian into the past and into a series of possible futures of this city and region, and returning them safely to the present. We propose to develop a new device known as the Coal River Time Machine. It will utilise cutting edge Google Earth technology and employ overlayed historical maps, images and documents within a 3d virtual environment to transport occupants back into our geological past, and exploring the option of visiting possible future scenarios that are dependent upon how we act today. We choose to do these things, and the other goals, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”